If my memory serves correct, it was back in the Christmas of 2010...the presents patiently awaited us under the beautifully lit tree, the fire was on, and the snow was piled high outside. We had just finished our Christmas dinner at home with our parents and were basking in the gluttony of the season when out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mom pull something out of the freezer. Immediately my mind began to race...wondering what could possibly be coming next. It was, in fact, time for dessert; however, it never usually came out of the freezer (unless of course it was our Mom's birthday special: oreo and vanilla ice cream cake with chocolate fudge topping...but that's a whole other post).

Being as obsessed with food as we are, we did the buttons back up on our pants and approached the kitchen counter. The anticipation was almost unbearable! Mom said, "now this is just something new I tried...I don't really know if it will be good," which is always how she introduces something delicious...so humbly. As she unveiled the masterpiece, we all, in unison, "ooooooh'd" and "awwwww'd" at how stunning it was! It was a cranberry/pistachio/oreo ice cream cake. When you think of a dessert that could in itself BE Christmas, this was it! A dark, crumbly oreo crust, topped with a layer of whipped, vanilla ice cream then a layer of stewed, semi-sweet cranberries, and then ANOTHER layer of ice cream with whimsical swirls of cranberry sauce on top and crushed pistachio pieces sprinkled along the edges. I almost wanted to cry it was so beautiful! The bright, contrasting, Christmas colours were one thing, but the perfectly aligned layers were enough to make the judges on Masterchef give a standing ovation. Mom served us a generous piece and we gathered around the table once more, unbuttoned our pants, and took off on an adventure of flavour.

This dessert had almost every flavour profile. The sweetness of the ice cream and oreo crust were perfectly balanced with the tartness of the cranberries and then you were hit with a hint of saltiness from the pistachios. My taste buds were exploding! The variety of textures only added to the pure joy as you went from soft to chewy to crunchy. I had never had a dessert like this in my LIFE! We're a chocolate-loving family and typically the desserts we have at family dinners are sweet and decadent (not that I mind that...because I don't), but it was a new and incredible experience around the table that night.

BEHOLD! The cranberry/pistachio/oreo ice cream cake!



It's hard to believe your eyes, isn't it? I know. I was there. This dessert goes down as one of THEE most memorable desserts of my life.

Now, onto something completely different...kind of. This next dessert is in a different category of desserts. There is a "Toblerone Cheesecake" category, right? No? Oh...well I'm going to make it a category so this dessert can stand alone as it so deserves. We all know cheesecake is delectable and that Toblerone is the best chocolate bar on earth so naturally, they combine to make the most decadent dessert! My boyfriend's Dad is a professionally trained chef (how SWEET it is!) and made Toblerone Cheesecake this Christmas. Heaven's be praised!

A crumbly, buttery crust...a rich, creamy cheesecake filling...a light dusting of Toblerone shavings on top. Wait, no...CHUNKS UPON CHUNKS of Toblerone pieces! Enough of them to make you wonder how the cheesecake didn't cave in! It was one of those desserts you'd see on display in a bakery and think it was a fake display...only it wasn't fake! It was REAL and I could eat it.

When is next Christmas? Tomorrow?

In the aftermath of my pizza fiasco, Yankee Noodle Candy was kind enough to make me a favorite dessert...

Fruit Fiesta is always an eye-popping array of color. The beautiful green and red fruits with their juices surrounded by the cinnamon sugar tortilla chips reminds one of a desert cactus flower in April. This dish was discovered a few years back and is a rare treat in the Yankee Noodle household.

This dish begs the question: at what point does food become art? Is there a point at which the value of a dish is greater as something to behold with the eyes - something we preserve for future generations to gawk at and discuss - than as something we slowly and lovingly consume and eventually use as energy for our bodies?

VERY DETAILED DIRECTIONS: Chop up a kiwi, an apple, and some strawberries. Add sugar and strawberry jam. Put it in the fridge for a while. Allow the sugar to draw out the natural sugar from the fruit and accumulate at the bottom of the bowl as the most luscious juice imaginable. Stir. Cut up and bake some tortillas and add cinnamon and sugar. Eat this like chips and salsa. Enjoy it. ENJOY IT.

I know what you're thinking: how could anyone eat something so picturesque?

That's why we have cameras. To preserve the beauty. Oh, the beauty!



YANKEE NOODLE CANDY'S FRUIT FIESTA
YANKEE NOODLE RATING: 11.44 out or 10 mmmm's.

My wife, Yankee Noodle Candy, and I will go down as one of the great couples in kitchen history, although I do nothing but eat. However, there have been several occasions (diminishing in number each year) for which I've been allowed into the kitchen to do something other than "test" the food and burn the toast.

To celebrate the launch of CUPS & CAKES, she was kind enough to reluctantly let me help make pizza tonight. She quite foolishly figured it would do no harm to let me chop some bell peppers and add the ingredients to my half (60%? ... ok, 70%) of the pizza. No one got hurt.

Homemade pizza is always an excellent choice, even for rank amateurs such as myself. Not everyone has the time or talent to create a masterpiece, but I'm told it isn't difficult to make a quality pizza, and for much less money than it costs to purchase one. Besides, for every Carfagna's, Donato's, Burgh's, or The Pie that leaves you in ecstasy, there is a Papa John's that will leave you wanting to hurl. And then there are hundreds of those overhyped but mediocre places in between.

Under close supervision, I chopped the green and red bell peppers. Sharp knives are cool.

It was all downhill from there though. After admiring my work I began to place the ingredients onto the dough and sauce. My wife said something about ingredients. I added the fresh mozzarella. I added the cheddar. I proudly added the pretty green and red bell peppers. I added the pepperoni (turkey - as you can see we're clearly concerned about calories here). I added more cheese. I added the oregano. I added more cheese on top of each slice of pepperoni, and then some more cheese.

Looks good, but, in retrospect, a bit cluttered. Can't see much dough or sauce.

The pizza was delicious, as always. The only problem is that the dough was a little quite soggy, especially near the edges. Homemade pizza had always been better than this in the past, leaving me perplexed. I knew it was my fault, but I didn't know why.

If you're like me and you're a perpetual failure in the kitchen (besides "testing" the food) I can't emphasize enough that it's important to listen closely to the expert. In my haste to pile on as much delicious food as possible, I paid little attention to the "something" my wife was talking about a few paragraphs up, which was that adding too many ingredients will cause excessive moisture as the juices cook out of the vegetables and cheese. That's today's lesson for neophytes, and one that I won't soon forget.

Despite the moisture, the toppings were still delicious. Wetter ingredients, wetter pizza, still better than Papa John's. And again, no one got hurt.



YANKEE NOODLE CANDY'S HOMEMADE PIZZA
YANKEE NOODLE RATING: 9 out of 10 mmmm's.
YANKEE NOODLE RATING UNDER ORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES (WHEN HE DOESN'T HELP): 10 out of 10 mmmm's.

Hi folks! Canoodlin' here with my brother, Yankee Noodle. He may have a few years (and a few pounds) on me, but I still have a lot to offer when it comes to eating food. In fact, it saddens me that he has 4 more years of eating history than me...it hardly seems fair. We had a chance to reflect on my food favourites and food memories over the holidays.

Yankee Noodle: You’ve spent over a quarter of a century as an avid eater. What has made you successful as an eater or a cook?

Canoodlin': It has only been in the past 2 years that I have delved into the world of cooking. Our mom truly deserves the title of my cooking mentor as she has bestowed upon me the creativity, skill, and talent it requires to put good food on the table night after night. That being said, the majority of my life has been spent eating our Mom’s cooking and therefore, my success as an eater is because of her. I have also reaped the benefits of being surrounded by a family who enjoys food as much as I do. There really is something to be said about a family who can sit down every evening and not only devour a deliciously prepared meal but also appreciate it to the depths of their souls.

Tell us about some of the quirky rituals you have when it comes to the art of eating.

I consider eating to be an experience involving all of the senses. It’s difficult for me to pinpoint exactly when I started taking the ceremonial “big whiff” of my food before eating it…perhaps this is a skill I picked up from the Ninja Turtles…it’s hard to say. When it comes to food, the first thing you notice before seeing, tasting, or touching it is the smell! It is the aroma of a delicious meal that arouses the other senses, tantalizes the taste buds, and starts your mouth watering before it ever touches your lips. Isn’t that fascinating?

It has also been brought to my attention in recent years that perhaps I am one of a select few people who take pictures of their food. To me this was earth-shattering news, as I didn’t think that my habit was all that uncommon. Some of my fondest and best memories are sparked from seeing a photo of a meal I enjoyed…not even necessarily memories about how amazing that meal was, but memories about where I was, or who I was with. A good meal deserves a photo just as much as a stunning sunset or a cute, chubby baby.

Who were your food heroes growing up?

That’s easy. Mom. She has this uncanny ability to make something remarkably tasty out of unremarkable ingredients and then act as though it was no big deal...nothing special. To me this was always a quality in our Mom that I wanted to possess. We never ate fancy food or high priced delicacies, but somehow Mom managed to turn us all into passionate eaters from what she had in the cupboards.

Who would you like to share a meal with someday?

Gary Mehigan and George Calombaris – from Masterchef Australia.

What is the best home cooked meal you ever had?

Well I am not as quick to recall the exact dates of memorable meals as you, Yankee Noodle, but for me the best and most memorable were (and still are) Mom’s enchiladas. It is still, to this day, the meal I request every year for my birthday.

What is the best meal you ever had at a restaurant?

This is incredibly difficult to narrow down as I have been blown away by countless meals in several different restaurants. I'll never forget the enchiladas I had in Puebla, Mexico or the delicious monstrosity that is the Qdoba burrito. I have to add to this that one of my boyfriend's best friends is a chef and he made me the most amazing bouillabaisse in Victoria, BC.

What restaurants do you still need to visit?

My dream would be to eat at The Press Club, which is George Calombaris’ restaurant in Melbourne. It was featured in an episode of Masterchef Australia and it looked awe-inspiring!

What is your favourite genre of food?

Inheriting our Dad’s taste buds has given me the ability to wholeheartedly experience the vast variety of spices used in Mexican cuisine. For that I owe our Dad a huge debt of gratitude, as I cannot imagine my life without jalapenos or chilies.

What has been the saddest eating moment of your life?

I look at this question two ways. The first is the trepidation I feel when I am coming to the end of a great meal or dessert. It’s hard for me to fully explain the sinking feeling I get when taking the last few bites of a glorious masterpiece…

Yes, I know what you mean. At some point the bliss is overshadowed by the panic and the terror as you realize it's all about to end. It's almost like a death in the family. Maybe not a close loved one, but a distant relative. Uh... yeah...

Secondly, if I had to pick a sad moment due to a food failure it would be when we tried to replicate a meal presented on Masterchef Australia. Let’s just say it was Chinese cooking wine and fish sauce gone completely wrong.

What’s your philosophy of eating?

Some people say we should eat to live; however, I say we should live to EAT!

Blogs have been around for quite some time now, so why have you decided to start this blog now with your brothers?

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to talk about food. I have clients who love food and we sometimes spend an entire session talking about a restaurant we tried, something new we cooked, or something we saw on The Food Network. When you put two people who both love food together, the possibilities are really endless. In our case, we not only have three people, but we have three people who are related who, collectively, have eaten almost all around the world!! We all live in different countries right now so I see this as a wonderful opportunity to keep in touch as well. What better way to keep in touch than to share our love of food with the world?!

Yankee Noodle has always been very secretive about his eating career. His reluctance to grant interviews to members of the mainstream food media has become as legendary as his eating methods themselves. However, to celebrate the launch of CUPS & CAKES, he has graciously agreed to discuss food with his wife, Mrs. Yankee Noodle Candy, in this exclusive interview.

MRS. NOODLE: As you enter the fourth decade of your eating career, you've started the CUPS & CAKES blog with your brother Hot Dry Noodlin’ and your sister Canoodlin’. Why now?

YANKEE NOODLE: My talent for eating was never in doubt. I know how to clean a plate and do it with a certain panache. But I think I've finally reached a point in my career where I have a wealth of experience to offer and I need to share my knowledge. I've eaten a lot of great food and a lot of awful food, and I've experienced the entire spectrum in terms of presentation, service, ambience... I’ve eaten in at least half the states and I've been fortunate to meet friends from all over the country and around the world who have introduced me to their favorites. Also, my metabolism has slowed down and I can't spend as much time eating as I used to, which leaves more time for writing.

Food seemed like a natural topic to write about with my family. There are two other pastimes we are all passionate about - music and hockey - but our tastes in those areas are probably too divergent to write about them as a team.

You've had a long and distinguished eating career. How do you explain your success?

Well, it’s really been a team effort. I've been blessed to be surrounded by a plethora of great food over the course of my career. First of all, my mom is an incredibly talented cook and baker, so I grew up enjoying a vast repertoire of wonderful food. It wasn’t until I went to college and began to eat pop tarts for breakfast and macaroni and cheese for lunch that I realized how fortunate I was in those early years. The year I worked at KFC when I was 17 showed me the limits of my talent as a cook and made it obvious that I should specialize in eating. And then through a lot of hard work and experimentation you [Mrs. Noodle] have really become a stellar cook over the past several years. Also, I like to explore when eating out, and that breadth of experience has contributed to my success as an eater.

Your quirky methods are widely known. Why don't you tell us how they came to be?

I don't remember how I got started holding my fork and spoon like a shovel. I wasn't even aware of it until a friend teased me when I started high school. I guess I'd have to credit my parents for letting me find out what worked best in terms of handling utensils.

The same is true for my patented ordered eating system. I was never taught to eat all elements of a dish simultaneously, and that's why I came up with eating everything in order of least favorite to most favorite. From there, the “last bite” was a logical next step.

Spontaneously saying “mmmm” and closing my eyes as I eat, removing my glasses for better focus, getting choked up and being moved to tears as I approach the end of a particularly delicious meal... these are things I can't explain. They just happen naturally. People don't realize how hard it is to suppress these habits (“making love to my food,” as you call it) when I'm in more formal settings or among people who don't appreciate eating as an art form.

Is there anyone you looked up to when you were a young eater?

Cookie Monster was my hero and someone I tried to emulate. He devoured those cookies with such unabashed enthusiasm, and that sort of vigor was very contagious. Also, he didn't let others influence his diet and he wasn't self-conscious about his eating technique. I tried to incorporate those qualities as a young boy.

What about as you become a more accomplished eater?

The first time I saw Chairman Takeshi Kaga attack that bell pepper on Iron Chef, I was smitten. I thought, here’s a guy who gets it. Chairman Kaga really opened my eyes to the possibilities of eating as performance art. Not only did he enjoy eating, he had a certain flair that I had been told I possessed but was quite shy about. He gave me the courage to be my exuberant self when I ate.

Who would you like to share a meal with?

Takeru Kobayashi. I'm still in awe.

What's the most memorable home cooked meal you ever had?

It's hard to choose just one. Mom's taco salad - I believe it was New Year's Day 1991. It was a new dish and it blew everyone away, and of course it's become a staple in our family ever since. You [Mrs. Noodle] came up with your first variation of it in the fall of 2006, and it’s become a classic in its own right. The first time you made chicken tortilla soup in the summer of 2006 is another one that I'll never forget.

What's the most memorable meal you ever had at a restaurant?

So many candidates, but probably the first time I had a Navajo taco at Goulding's Lodge near Monument Valley, on the Arizona-Utah state line, back in August of 2007. It had everything: fantastic food, portions so massive that I was embarrassed how much I had left, impeccable service, good conversation, and, of course, breathtaking views sitting by the giant windows.

Which restaurant do you still need to visit?

Neely's BBQ in Memphis, Tennessee. Now those are people who appreciate food and eating. I'm hesitant to go there too soon for the same reason I haven't opened my Nirvana and Waylon Jennings box sets. I'll never be able to listen to Sgt Pepper for the first time again. After I eat at Pat & Gina’s restaurant, it will never be new again, so it's best to hold off for a while.

Is there anyone you've eaten with who has made you jealous?

My friend Chia-Lung is almost as old as me but his metabolism has not slowed down. He seems to be able to eat half his weight each day, and yet he remains very humble about it. I truly believe he could eat all day long without stopping and not gain a pound. Yes, I'm jealous.

What would your perfect day consist of if you had to eat at chain restaurants for all three meals and snack on three grocery food items? 

That’s an excruciating decision that no one should ever be forced to make, but my gut instinct is to go with Cracker Barrel for breakfast, Panera Bread for lunch, and Famous Dave’s for dinner. Snacks would be a Cadbury Creme Egg, a Marie Callender’s chocolate satin pie, and a 3 Musketeers bar.

What are your favorite genres?

Italian, Mexican/Southwestern, Barbecue, Greasy Southern, Chocolate...

What's the most you ever spent on a meal?

Probably $20, or $40 for the two of us. I buy food, not a status symbol.

What was the saddest moment of your eating career?

That would have to be the time I tried Trident Splash Citrus with Blackberry. It was such a horrific experience, as you well know. I tried to unload the rest of the package to some unsuspecting fool by writing a great eBay ad, but it didn't get a bid and I was forced to use it as a gag gift. It is undoubtedly my biggest regret.

Do you think you would be more credible as an eater if you were a chef?

I think being totally inept in the kitchen makes me uniquely qualified to evaluate food. I'm unaware of the limits of what can be done with food, and that enables me to be more discerning in my taste, more ruthless as a judge, and more revolutionary in terms of what I recommend to those who actually have the talent. I have no idea what is or isn't possible.

What's your philosophy of eating?

Don’t waste precious calories on McDonald’s. I agree with Mr. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A. “Food is essential to life. Therefore, make it good.”