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Yankee Noodle has always been very secretive about his eating career. His reluctance to grant interviews to members of the mainstream food media has become as legendary as his eating methods themselves. However, to celebrate the launch of CUPS & CAKES, he has graciously agreed to discuss food with his wife, Mrs. Yankee Noodle Candy, in this exclusive interview.
MRS. NOODLE: As you enter the fourth decade of your eating career, you've started the CUPS & CAKES blog with your brother Hot Dry Noodlin’ and your sister Canoodlin’. Why now?
YANKEE NOODLE: My talent for eating was never in doubt. I know how to clean a plate and do it with a certain panache. But I think I've finally reached a point in my career where I have a wealth of experience to offer and I need to share my knowledge. I've eaten a lot of great food and a lot of awful food, and I've experienced the entire spectrum in terms of presentation, service, ambience... I’ve eaten in at least half the states and I've been fortunate to meet friends from all over the country and around the world who have introduced me to their favorites. Also, my metabolism has slowed down and I can't spend as much time eating as I used to, which leaves more time for writing.
Food seemed like a natural topic to write about with my family. There are two other pastimes we are all passionate about - music and hockey - but our tastes in those areas are probably too divergent to write about them as a team.
You've had a long and distinguished eating career. How do you explain your success?
Well, it’s really been a team effort. I've been blessed to be surrounded by a plethora of great food over the course of my career. First of all, my mom is an incredibly talented cook and baker, so I grew up enjoying a vast repertoire of wonderful food. It wasn’t until I went to college and began to eat pop tarts for breakfast and macaroni and cheese for lunch that I realized how fortunate I was in those early years. The year I worked at KFC when I was 17 showed me the limits of my talent as a cook and made it obvious that I should specialize in eating. And then through a lot of hard work and experimentation you [Mrs. Noodle] have really become a stellar cook over the past several years. Also, I like to explore when eating out, and that breadth of experience has contributed to my success as an eater.
Your quirky methods are widely known. Why don't you tell us how they came to be?
I don't remember how I got started holding my fork and spoon like a shovel. I wasn't even aware of it until a friend teased me when I started high school. I guess I'd have to credit my parents for letting me find out what worked best in terms of handling utensils.
The same is true for my patented ordered eating system. I was never taught to eat all elements of a dish simultaneously, and that's why I came up with eating everything in order of least favorite to most favorite. From there, the “last bite” was a logical next step.
Spontaneously saying “mmmm” and closing my eyes as I eat, removing my glasses for better focus, getting choked up and being moved to tears as I approach the end of a particularly delicious meal... these are things I can't explain. They just happen naturally. People don't realize how hard it is to suppress these habits (“making love to my food,” as you call it) when I'm in more formal settings or among people who don't appreciate eating as an art form.
Is there anyone you looked up to when you were a young eater?
Cookie Monster was my hero and someone I tried to emulate. He devoured those cookies with such unabashed enthusiasm, and that sort of vigor was very contagious. Also, he didn't let others influence his diet and he wasn't self-conscious about his eating technique. I tried to incorporate those qualities as a young boy.
What about as you become a more accomplished eater?
The first time I saw Chairman Takeshi Kaga attack that bell pepper on Iron Chef, I was smitten. I thought, here’s a guy who gets it. Chairman Kaga really opened my eyes to the possibilities of eating as performance art. Not only did he enjoy eating, he had a certain flair that I had been told I possessed but was quite shy about. He gave me the courage to be my exuberant self when I ate.
Who would you like to share a meal with?
Takeru Kobayashi. I'm still in awe.
What's the most memorable home cooked meal you ever had?
It's hard to choose just one. Mom's taco salad - I believe it was New Year's Day 1991. It was a new dish and it blew everyone away, and of course it's become a staple in our family ever since. You [Mrs. Noodle] came up with your first variation of it in the fall of 2006, and it’s become a classic in its own right. The first time you made chicken tortilla soup in the summer of 2006 is another one that I'll never forget.
What's the most memorable meal you ever had at a restaurant?
So many candidates, but probably the first time I had a Navajo taco at Goulding's Lodge near Monument Valley, on the Arizona-Utah state line, back in August of 2007. It had everything: fantastic food, portions so massive that I was embarrassed how much I had left, impeccable service, good conversation, and, of course, breathtaking views sitting by the giant windows.
Which restaurant do you still need to visit?
Neely's BBQ in Memphis, Tennessee. Now those are people who appreciate food and eating. I'm hesitant to go there too soon for the same reason I haven't opened my Nirvana and Waylon Jennings box sets. I'll never be able to listen to Sgt Pepper for the first time again. After I eat at Pat & Gina’s restaurant, it will never be new again, so it's best to hold off for a while.
Is there anyone you've eaten with who has made you jealous?
My friend Chia-Lung is almost as old as me but his metabolism has not slowed down. He seems to be able to eat half his weight each day, and yet he remains very humble about it. I truly believe he could eat all day long without stopping and not gain a pound. Yes, I'm jealous.
What would your perfect day consist of if you had to eat at chain restaurants for all three meals and snack on three grocery food items?
That’s an excruciating decision that no one should ever be forced to make, but my gut instinct is to go with Cracker Barrel for breakfast, Panera Bread for lunch, and Famous Dave’s for dinner. Snacks would be a Cadbury Creme Egg, a Marie Callender’s chocolate satin pie, and a 3 Musketeers bar.
What are your favorite genres?
Italian, Mexican/Southwestern, Barbecue, Greasy Southern, Chocolate...
What's the most you ever spent on a meal?
Probably $20, or $40 for the two of us. I buy food, not a status symbol.
What was the saddest moment of your eating career?
That would have to be the time I tried Trident Splash Citrus with Blackberry. It was such a horrific experience, as you well know. I tried to unload the rest of the package to some unsuspecting fool by writing a great eBay ad, but it didn't get a bid and I was forced to use it as a gag gift. It is undoubtedly my biggest regret.
Do you think you would be more credible as an eater if you were a chef?
I think being totally inept in the kitchen makes me uniquely qualified to evaluate food. I'm unaware of the limits of what can be done with food, and that enables me to be more discerning in my taste, more ruthless as a judge, and more revolutionary in terms of what I recommend to those who actually have the talent. I have no idea what is or isn't possible.
What's your philosophy of eating?
Don’t waste precious calories on McDonald’s. I agree with Mr. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A. “Food is essential to life. Therefore, make it good.”
