One of the first lessons I learned as a young eater was that, in general, healthy food and tasty food are opposites. Take a look at this scientific graph:

You may never have drawn a graph like this, but we all naturally understand this basic truth. There is an inverse relationship between health and taste. However, in rare cases, we encounter outliers (denoted by the "O" in the graph). These are healthy foods that taste great. They are very elusive indeed.

One such dish is Chicken & Black Bean Stew.

If my memory serves me right, I first tasted this meal almost a decade ago. Believe it or not, it was created by none other than yours truly. In the early days of our marriage, it wasn't yet established who had the talent to cook. I found this recipe in a cookbook and the picture looked mighty appealing, so I attempted it. There are nearly 20 ingredients. As a novice, I took the easy way out and used garlic powder and onion powder instead of chopping garlic and onions, but for the most part I followed the remainder of the recipe. For several years this dish was my masterpiece. I made it with pride every few months. One time I even put it in bread bowls.

And then it happened... one time I overcooked it and it was painfully dry. I wasn't too worried. There's a fine line between perfecting this dish and ruining it, because it's best when the chicken is a little burnt or singed. But the next time I overcooked it again. The third time was even more tragic: I destroyed Mrs. Noodle's wok. A recurring problem for me back when I was still allowed in the kitchen was that I got distracted by a baseball game, a conversation, or random thoughts. This time the distraction lasted a little too long and the burnt food stuck to the wok, causing irreparable damage. I'm not sure, but it might have been that very day that I was banned from the kitchen.

These days, Mrs. Noodle prepares the dish, only she does it well. She chops the garlic with gusto, she chops the onions with vigor... she includes not only the red peppers and green chilies but also yellow peppers to make it even more beautiful. But the wonder of this dish remains: it tastes incredible while being leaving the eater completely guiltless. Want a second helping? No problem. Third helping? Absolutely. Chicken, black beans, corn, carrots, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, green chilies, onions, spices, lemon juice, lime juice... all of it healthy, and yet it combines to create a hearty, tangy work of art for the eyes and stomach.

CHICKEN & BLACK BEAN STEW
YANKEE NOODLE RATING: 10.44 out of 10 mmmm's (as prepared by his wife; 8.3 out of 10 mmmm's when prepared by himself)

My wife, Yankee Noodle Candy, and I will go down as one of the great couples in kitchen history, although I do nothing but eat. However, there have been several occasions (diminishing in number each year) for which I've been allowed into the kitchen to do something other than "test" the food and burn the toast.

To celebrate the launch of CUPS & CAKES, she was kind enough to reluctantly let me help make pizza tonight. She quite foolishly figured it would do no harm to let me chop some bell peppers and add the ingredients to my half (60%? ... ok, 70%) of the pizza. No one got hurt.

Homemade pizza is always an excellent choice, even for rank amateurs such as myself. Not everyone has the time or talent to create a masterpiece, but I'm told it isn't difficult to make a quality pizza, and for much less money than it costs to purchase one. Besides, for every Carfagna's, Donato's, Burgh's, or The Pie that leaves you in ecstasy, there is a Papa John's that will leave you wanting to hurl. And then there are hundreds of those overhyped but mediocre places in between.

Under close supervision, I chopped the green and red bell peppers. Sharp knives are cool.

It was all downhill from there though. After admiring my work I began to place the ingredients onto the dough and sauce. My wife said something about ingredients. I added the fresh mozzarella. I added the cheddar. I proudly added the pretty green and red bell peppers. I added the pepperoni (turkey - as you can see we're clearly concerned about calories here). I added more cheese. I added the oregano. I added more cheese on top of each slice of pepperoni, and then some more cheese.

Looks good, but, in retrospect, a bit cluttered. Can't see much dough or sauce.

The pizza was delicious, as always. The only problem is that the dough was a little quite soggy, especially near the edges. Homemade pizza had always been better than this in the past, leaving me perplexed. I knew it was my fault, but I didn't know why.

If you're like me and you're a perpetual failure in the kitchen (besides "testing" the food) I can't emphasize enough that it's important to listen closely to the expert. In my haste to pile on as much delicious food as possible, I paid little attention to the "something" my wife was talking about a few paragraphs up, which was that adding too many ingredients will cause excessive moisture as the juices cook out of the vegetables and cheese. That's today's lesson for neophytes, and one that I won't soon forget.

Despite the moisture, the toppings were still delicious. Wetter ingredients, wetter pizza, still better than Papa John's. And again, no one got hurt.



YANKEE NOODLE CANDY'S HOMEMADE PIZZA
YANKEE NOODLE RATING: 9 out of 10 mmmm's.
YANKEE NOODLE RATING UNDER ORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES (WHEN HE DOESN'T HELP): 10 out of 10 mmmm's.